To Linger Means I Love You

linger- to be slow in parting or quitting something: tarry

Photo by Dakota Roos on Unsplash

Blame it on my Southern upbringing, but I find it really hard to say goodbye.  It is a known fact that Southerners say goodbye in the house, on the porch, and then will follow you to the car with a plate of leftovers and a drink for the road, all while still chatting about this or that. All my life, my maternal grandparents have had the habit of  walking us out to the porch when it is time to go. Then without fail, they would sit on their porch swing watching for us to turn around at the lake just to wave and holler goodbye again, as we passed back by.  Since my grandpa passed away in September, I still haven’t been able to let go of the ritual of putting my window down for that last goodbye. For me, to linger means-I love you. 

When I was in college, I had the best group of girlfriends. The four of us were inseparable. Outside our day jobs and classes, we constantly went out to dinner, went on road trips, saw movies, and had lazy beach days. One thing we were exceptionally good at was lingering over one more course, one more drink, or one more hilarious story. We squeezed the life and joy out of each opportunity we got to spend time together. Those sundrenched days are some of my warmest memories of caring for my loved ones by simply tarrying with them in everyday moments.

Even though the last few years have been spent on the hamster wheel of sleep schedules, meal plans, and homeschool lessons, I would say I have always been slightly addicted to lingering. I am never the first to leave a family gathering. Instead, I usually opt for one more chat with a cousin or one last  cup of coffee with my grandma. When I go to drop my kids off for overnights with some of their grandparents, common sense (and probably most of my peers) would suggest dropping the kids and hustling home for a few hours of quiet time. But not me! I stay until the last rays of the sun and my husband calls to let me know he's starting the 45 minute trek home. You see, I just can’t resist the urge for a little more time with the ones I love. For me, to linger means-I love you. 

As a mom and creative, I have always felt the pressure to wake up early to take advantage of the quiet for reading, prayer, and writing. For years, I've believed this narrative and felt so much  guilt and laziness toward myself because I couldn’t keep up with the predawn routine. However lately, my practice of lingering has translated into a form of self love. It has become a giving of permission to pursue creativity on my own terms. This looks like sleeping in until the same time as the kids and then lingering over my coffee while reading, journaling, and writing for the first hour of the day. This lingering in my creative habit every morning was the catalyst I needed to take that same approach with the rest of life. Lately, I have felt free to amble through homeschool lessons instead of rushing onto the next subject, to tarry over new recipes instead of viewing dinner prep as a means to an end, and to saunter through long summer days without giving my to-do list another thought. Taking the time to linger over life, even the simplest moments, says I love you like nothing else.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Linger."